14 Weeks Pregnant

I'm 14 weeks pregnant today. It's still amazing to us that I've made it to the second trimester. It seems surreal, and I can't quite believe that we're moving successfully toward parenting another child. Of course we're more cautious this time around. We haven't discussed baby names. We haven't really started prepping anything for the baby room. We are still even cautious about saying things like "when the baby comes" or making plans for next spring and summer. We're so scared to be confident. But all appears well.

I had an OB appointment last week. All we did was listen to the heartbeat, but it was great. Of course it induced tears. The baby was all over the place, but when "he" was still, the heartrate was 140. Amazing. I won't go back again for another 6 weeks. At that point, we can determine the sex if we wish. I really don't want to though. I feel like the excitement and anticipation of the surprise helped get me through the rough times with Mia and I can imagine that being the same with this child. If I take away the excitement of that surprise, the main thing I will ancitipate is the pain of that day. I think it will be better if I don't know.

Mia has been much more clingy than usual the past few weeks. She will not go anywhere alone. She wants Mike or I right beside her when we're home. I suppose it has something to do with the baby, but I can't be certain. She's usually not whiny about it, just matter of fact and happily following us everywhere. Like she sits in my lap while I put on my makeup. She has her arms wrapped around my legs while I do my hair or brush my teeth. I trip over her constantly. As much as I love her, it's starting to try my patience, and that's saying a lot. For some reason, I've always had much more patience than usual with Mia. I've always been very aware of how she responds to me and how easily I can hurt her feelings. So I am able to hold my tongue and keep my emotions in check with her more so than most people. But this is about to do me in. I have no privacy and not even a moment to myself when Mike isn't here. And Mike is gone a lot. We'll get through it, I'm sure. I just hope I start feeling better soon before I completely lose it.

13 Weeks Pregnant

I will be 13 weeks pregnant tomorrow. I'm still in disbelief as I type this. I can't believe this little one has survived and Mike and I still cry tears of amazement, joy and relief every time we have an ultrasound.

Last week I had my "old lady" testing, to check the thickness of the baby's neck for signs of Downs' Syndrome. All looked well on that front. We also got to watch the baby lounge around. What a contrast to Mia's u/s at that time. This baby was sleeping when we started, so we had to wake him up. His heart rate was only 154 and it freaked me out (it was 185 last time), but the tech assured me it was because he was sleeping. He kept trying to move away, get comfy and go back to sleep. At Mia's 12 week exam, she was jumping around and playing the whole time. I said this one must be a lazy boy. ;-)

This week I have finally admitted I am more sick with this pregnancy than I was with Mia. I've been in denial a bit on that front. I've missed a tremendous amount of work this time. I've almost had car accidents due to vomiting while driving. With Mia I was more lethargic, especially at night. This time I'm not as tired, but I'm definitely more sick. I'm taking Zofran, as I did with Mia, so I'm not vomiting too much. Instead, I'm gagging and dry heaving all the time. Sometimes it's all day. I applied for intermittent FMLA this week, because it seems to be getting worse, not better.

I've gained a ton of weight already. It varies day to day, somewhat drastically, depending on whether or not I've gone to the bathroom. One day last week I weighed myself and I was up 8 pounds since conception. A few days later it was 18 pounds. As with Mia, I'm very constipated. I'm also eating mostly carbs, as they seem to fight off the nausea the most. Unfortunately, I have to eat almost constantly, so I'm really packing on the pounds, and I'm not exercising since I feel so sick. I hope once this passes I'll be more active and go back to a healthier diet.

Mia is so incredibly excited about this baby. She kisses my belly all day, talks about what we'll do when the baby comes, "I will hold the baby, but I WILL NOT change its diaper!" I think Santa may bring her an American Girl baby doll for Christmas so she can practice, and have a baby of her own to care for while Mommy and Daddy care for Trucky. Yes, Cara has named our new baby Trucky. Mia doesn't like it, probably because Cara came up with it, but it's funny. Mia likes Angela, Natalie and Ash-a-ley, her favorite girl names. For a boy she likes Liam and Rome (coincidentally, the same names as her friends at school).

8 weeks pregnant

Some of my pregnancy symptoms are different this time around. For example, I have a strong aversion to some of my favorite foods, particularly bleu cheese and potato salad. Also, my sense of smell is very acute, and can trigger nausea if my nose deems the scent offensive. Unfortunately, some of the biggest offenders are Mike's deodorant and cologne, and hairspray. The dogs also smell terribly to me, but they actually may truly just need baths.

Just as with Mia, I have extreme constipation. I think that accounts for a large part of the reason my belly is as big as it is at this early stage. It's difficult keeping the pregnancy from Mia, as she is so aware of me and the changes in my body and lifestyle due to fatigue. She told me she thinks the reason my belly is so big is because I've had too much water to drink. She said sometimes when you drink too much water, it makes your belly stick out and makes you sick. I told her she was probably right.

The Most Amazing Girl in the World

Yep, that's how I feel about my Mia. She is so funny, smart, personable, outgoing, kind and thoughtful. I love to just sit and watch her, as I am so in awe of her. I love how her mind works, I love her creativity and silliness. I'm so blessed to be her mommy.

• Mia started pre-K two weeks ago. This has been the smoothest transition we've ever had. She loves her teachers, Ms. Rose and Ms. Amber, and tells us they love her too. She has already been "class leader" and loved being in charge!
• She started cheerleading last week. It's a beginner class that's more basic tumbling than anything, but she also told me after her first class that she "loved" that as well. She's definitely not intimidated by new environments or new children, something that I'm sure stems from her time in daycare. Although I have hated not being able to stay at home with her, I sure have enjoyed seeing her thrive in the eduational and social environment at her school.
• Mia has a "boyfriend". His name is Rome. On the playground they pretend to be Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber. She told me she is "sooo in love with him!!!" and one day she's going to marry him and kiss him and hug him.
• Barbies are her biggest pasttime. She can sit for hours playing with her dolls (just like her mommy did!). The last time we counted them all, she had over 30 here, but we've also shipped some off to her grandparents' houses as well.
• Mia took swim lessons all summer and did really great! It's something she not only enjoys but does well, so we will definitely continue to encourage that.
• She loves Scooby Doo. We watch an episode each night before bed.
• She holds my hand at night while she sleeps. The most wonderful thing in the world.

3 Great Ultrasounds in a Row

Today we got the third straight positive ultrasound in a row. The last time that happened, we were pregnant with Miss Mia. After 9 miscarriages, it's hard to be excited, but we are far more hopeful than we've ever been. Jesusa (our "miracle child") measured 7 weeks, 5 days and had a heart rate of 170. I consistently feel horrible, nauseated and constipated, for all of which I am very grateful. It's reassuring since I had all that with Mia as well. We will keep praying that all goes well, but I feel very blessed.

4th Birthday Photos

The best smile in the whole world

Each night, after we read our books, Mia falls asleep with a smile on her face. Sometimes she has her arms wrapped around my neck. Sometimes she rests her head against my shoulder. Sometimes I'm snuggled up behind her with my arms wrapped around her. Regardless, right before she falls asleep, she opens her eyes, looks at me, and smiles. Each night, I'm overwhelmed by my love for her and overcome with joy at the love she obviously feels for me.

I realize her smile comes from comfort and security of having her mommy snuggling with her, but that smile also means something much more significant to me. Each night I'm reminded how fortunate I am to be able to provide my daughter a life where she's happy every night. It often makes me think of the millions of children around the world who don't smile as they drift off to sleep each night. I think of the children who are ill or dying. I think of those who are abused or neglected. I think of those who are homeless or hungry, or those who live amidst war or terror. I think of how their mothers must feel as their babies drift off to sleep at night. How scared they must be for their children and how they must pray desperately that their children find a way to safety, security and happiness in their lifetimes.

So each night I thank God with all my heart that my daughter knows no illness, abuse, hunger or terror, and I pray that no matter where she is each night for the rest of her life, she will always fall asleep with that sweet, happy smile on her face.