14 Weeks Pregnant

I'm 14 weeks pregnant today. It's still amazing to us that I've made it to the second trimester. It seems surreal, and I can't quite believe that we're moving successfully toward parenting another child. Of course we're more cautious this time around. We haven't discussed baby names. We haven't really started prepping anything for the baby room. We are still even cautious about saying things like "when the baby comes" or making plans for next spring and summer. We're so scared to be confident. But all appears well.

I had an OB appointment last week. All we did was listen to the heartbeat, but it was great. Of course it induced tears. The baby was all over the place, but when "he" was still, the heartrate was 140. Amazing. I won't go back again for another 6 weeks. At that point, we can determine the sex if we wish. I really don't want to though. I feel like the excitement and anticipation of the surprise helped get me through the rough times with Mia and I can imagine that being the same with this child. If I take away the excitement of that surprise, the main thing I will ancitipate is the pain of that day. I think it will be better if I don't know.

Mia has been much more clingy than usual the past few weeks. She will not go anywhere alone. She wants Mike or I right beside her when we're home. I suppose it has something to do with the baby, but I can't be certain. She's usually not whiny about it, just matter of fact and happily following us everywhere. Like she sits in my lap while I put on my makeup. She has her arms wrapped around my legs while I do my hair or brush my teeth. I trip over her constantly. As much as I love her, it's starting to try my patience, and that's saying a lot. For some reason, I've always had much more patience than usual with Mia. I've always been very aware of how she responds to me and how easily I can hurt her feelings. So I am able to hold my tongue and keep my emotions in check with her more so than most people. But this is about to do me in. I have no privacy and not even a moment to myself when Mike isn't here. And Mike is gone a lot. We'll get through it, I'm sure. I just hope I start feeling better soon before I completely lose it.