Callie Girl - 3 Months Old

Oh, my little Callie Girl. How in love with you I am! You light up my world with your sweet smiles and your infectious giggles. Your dad and I are so smitten with you. We sit and just look at you, marveling in our little miracle. And your sister...well she can't get enough of you! She reads to you, sings to you and last weekend had a fashion show with you. She brushed your quarter-inch hair and put you in a tiara and bracelet. You just let her dress you up, grinning the whole time! You are getting so big so quickly. I know I don't post here nearly like I did when Mia was a baby. It is partly due to having two children that need my attention. There aren't very many free moments with a three month old and a five year old. I have also just started a new job last week and leaving my former job to transition to this one has been challenging. I was in Las Vegas last week and am typing this from Chicago. When I'm home I want to interact with my girls, not just write about you. But also I was much less confident in my decisions as a mother when Mia was a baby, and I wrote to work through my insecurities. Now I'm confident and more relaxed and just simply enjoying your babyhood even more than I did with Mia. You've had a rough couple of weeks that have challenged my heart though. Two weeks ago on Sunday you spiked a fever of 101.3. I called the pediatrician and they told me to take you the emergency room. With Mia, that temperature wouldn't have necessarily caused much alarm, so daddy stayed home with Mia. But apparently that level of fever in a child less than three months is a big deal. Quickly after our arrival a catheter was inserted to draw urine, an IV was inserted to draw blood and administer medicine if needed and a chest x-ray was taken. I was soon in a state of panic, over what may be wrong with you and over the level of pain you were experiencing from these procedures. You were too small to get anesthesia and I was desperate to find out what was going on and to eliminate the need for so much pain. After the chest x-ray your daddy arrived and I held you for hours as test after test came back negative. But you were still fussy and still had the fever, and the NP decided she wanted to do a spinal tap to test for meningitis. What a horrible decision that was for us to make. I had just had an epidural for my c-section with you. I was terrified of a physician inserting a needle into my own spine. To do that into the spine of a screaming, wiggly baby was beyond my comprehension. But I read up on your symptoms while we sat there, and you were definitlely exhibiting enough of them to cause concern. Meningitis can kill babies quickly, so we knew we must find out to keep you safe. We waited in the lobby while you had the procedure. Granny showed up while we were out there, midnight by that point. I cried and cried in fear for you, but hours later the tests came back negative again. We went home and by the next day your fever was down. Then on Wednesday I was at a going away party with my work friends when I received a call from daddy that he had been in a wreck with you and Mia in the car. All he kept saying was for me to get there and that he "thought" you were okay. My friend Beth drove me to daycare in rush hour traffic while I sat there in panic, wondering if you were all really okay. When we pulled up, we saw daddy's car and it was obviously totaled. It had been a stormy afternoon and a woman decided to pass in the median. She crashed right into the front driver side as daddy pulled out of the daycare parking lot. Daddy appeared to be okay, and when I went into daycare you girls appeared to be okay as well. However we knew we needed you all to be checked out at the hospital to be certain. So papaw took daddy to the adult hospital, and mommy, granny and grumpy took you girls to the children's hospital. Daddy had a sore back and some burns from the airbag. You girls had a couple of bruises from your seatbelts. After x-rays determined you were okay, we took you home. I've never seen your daddy so shaken up and he cried when he walked into your hospital room. In fact, many tears were shed by mommy and daddy in the days after that accident. You girls are the most precious gifts we've ever received. We love you both with all our hearts and souls, and would easily give our lives to keep you both safe and healthy. It's hard to know what that feels like until you are a parent. But always know we love you more than anything. In the past week you have started to giggle. You love when I kiss and "munch" on your belly and your big, hearty laughs make me laugh out loud with you! Two days ago you started reaching for toys. You love to sit in your swing and reach for the little dangling toys that hang from it. You are also really pulling your head up a lot to look around you, and you no longer need to be swaddled at night. You're sleeping through the night in your sleep sack. We still have you in the elevated sleep sling instead of your crib. Until your reflux stops I want you elevated. But otherwise you are one happy, content little girl. And you have your mommy's heart in your hands!