Infertility Update

It's been a long time since I've posted, and an even longer time since I've posted about our infertility. For now, let's just say it hasn't been going well. I lost the pregnancy in April, then I lost another this month. Six miscarriages now, and I'm spent. I'm an emotional wreck over it, so I've decided to take a three week break from researching IVF, genetic issues, new drug options, adoption (domestic/international, regular/special needs, someone we know/anonymous, etc.). It's easier said than done, since my biological clock is so f-ing LOUD! But I feel better doing this. In the meantime I've been focusing on reconnecting with Mike and enjoying every hilarious and adorable thing Mia says and does. Pics of that sweet girl will come soon.

Mia-isms

• M is currently walking around the house in her Cinderella heels, wearing her princess backpack filled with her princess books and singing "My Bonnie lies over the ocean" in a falsetto.
• M informed me I need to be careful when holding a pin because they're "shark" and if you're not careful they can make you bleedin' and then you need a bandaid. I told her pins were "shar-P" with a p, like Papa and puppy. She looked at me with an exasperated expression and said, "Nooo, they're shar-K, like when a stick is long and at one end it's shar-K." She even used her hands to demonstrate how it's skinny and "shark" at one end. She sure told me!
• M brought me a ladybug and told me she was going to keep it. When I told her I wasn't sure the ladybug would want to live with people she replied, "Yes she does. She's my friend. And she doesn't have a mommy." How can I make an orphan of a ladybug?

Easter Bunny!!!

Great (and busy) weekend

What a busy and fun weekend we had! On Friday night, Mia and Cara went to their first Kentucky Derby Festival Balloon Glow. We started off with a cookout at Mom and Bruce's, then walked over to see the balloons. The girls played in the bouncies until dark, then we watched the balloons light up the night. They had a blast!

Mia and Cara stayed the night with Granny and Grumpy Friday night, then went fishing Saturday morning. Mia came home in time for the baby shower Mommy and Daddy were having for Uncle Chris and Aunt Ashley. Mia asked to stay with her Mamaw that night so she was off once again.

This morning we decided that the overcast skies were just perfect for a trip to the zoo. We had a great day, riding the carousel, petting the animals and playing in the playground. At every stop Mia asked when she could see the snakes, which of course were the last exhibit on our route. When we arrived, they just happened to have a ball python out of its cage. Mia got to "pet" it, and she was thrilled! We enjoyed a family dinner afterward and came home to an evening of movies and playing with paper dolls. We had a wonderful weekend!

Easter Party at School

Busy girl

Mia has been very busy lately keeping us entertained. She loves to dress up, whether that be in princess attire or Mommy's clothes. She also loves to paint, sing, color, dance and read. A regular Renaissance girl, that Mia. Other things that have amused us lately:

• Mia doesn't use Cara's name so much anymore. Cara is now "my cousin".
• She refers to colors by their Spanish names as often as she does by their English names.
• Anytime the three of us are snuggling she gets so excited she squeals, "We're a family!!"
• She loves to play teacher and often sits us down to review our letters or numbers.
• Mia's teacher reported that they were playing freeze tag at school the other day. The teacher asked what songs the kids wanted to hear. Did Mia say, "ABCs" or "Little Bo Peep"? No, she said, "Ms. Karen, I want to dance to Katy Perry!"
• The other day she came over, gave me a kiss, then while still holding onto the sides of my face started shaking her booty, singing, "If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it."
• She asked to take the "alligator" to the second floor.
• She loves to take her "bitalins" (vitamins).
• I asked if she wanted oatmeal for breakfast. The reply: "I sure do Mommy." I asked if she was ready to read her nighttime books. The reply: "I sure am Mommy."
• Mia must have decided to take the Easter Bunny's generosity and "pay it forward". She told Mike he was her best buddy and she told me I was her special girl.
• All the crazy weather we've had lately prompted Mia to play Wizard of Oz. At one point she asked, "Where your shoes Mommy?" I asked her what she meant and she replied, "When that house fell on you and your shoes went away."

Fertility update

In early March I got the okay that my reproductive system had calmed down. I wasn't sure that I was ready to do another round of shots just yet, so I requested Clomid for the month. I was met with resistance by the nurse practitioner. She was not so nice, telling me that Clomid isn't effective for women my age. It got to the point where my voice was a bit raised and the nurse's voice was dripping with sarcasm, but I prevailed. I went in for a baseline ultrasound and began taking Clomid. I ovulated for the first time since my surgery in September so I felt hopeful.

On Wednesday, March 23, I was rewarded with a positive pregnancy test! I did not contact the doctor right away, but I immediately began taking pregnancy precautions and started my estrogen and progesterone. On Friday I took another home test, one that required a higher hcg level to show up. That one also indicated positive so I made a lab appointment at the doctor. My hcg levels were 55 and the nurse practitioner said I was "definitely pregnant". I did not comment how I must be a medical miracle, seeing as Clomid isn't effective for women my age.

Last Friday I was brought in for another round of labs. The goal is for the hcg level to double every 48 hours. I knew I needed a 708 in order for the pregnancy to be going well. When the nurse called and told me my level was 946 I was ecstatic!!! We scheduled an ultrasound for next Thursday. We are praying with everything we have that all goes well.

As with every pregnancy since Mia, my stomach has immediately exploded. I'm sure the drugs are contributing, and the estrogen and progesterone both cause bloating. It typically takes a couple months to get the effects of Clomid out of my system so I'm hoping later in the pregnancy everything will even out.

Some positive news is that, of my six pregnancies, my hcg level only increased at all with three of them: Mia, the one I lost later, and this one. With the baby I lost later, even though I didn't have the D&C until 11 weeks, the baby actually stopped growing at 6 and a half weeks. So if we make it to 7 weeks it will be another milestone. Please keep us in your prayers.

We haven't told Mia yet. I don't want to get her excited and have to explain if something goes wrong. Even though my stomach is huge, she doesn't seem to notice. She just loves her mommy no matter how I look!