Seven Years Old

My big baby girl is seven. How did that happen already?? It's overwhelming how quickly it goes by. I look at her now, so tall, with her big girl teeth and her sassy little outfits and I think "too fast!" Although I do treasure every day and I reflect every night on the day we've had and appreciate all the little moments, I'm acutely aware that they won't last forever. So I still hold her - a lot! - and carry her and read with her and play games and probably baby her a little too much sometimes. But she's not a baby anymore.

As I typed that I began sobbing. Because I've struggled with Mia this year. A lot. I am suddenly very unsure of myself when it comes to parenting her. She doesn't react to situations like I do. She's sensitive, but doesn't like to be cuddled when she's feeling sensitive. She's stubborn and doesn't listen to reason in those moments. She's very jealous and reassurances don't seem to get through to her. She's very smart and beautiful, but doubts and criticizes herself. She's very silly, but gets self-conscious when other kids laugh at the things she does, thinking they're mocking her. So I worry all the time about how to get her to see herself for the amazing person she is, and how to get her to grow more confident.

The funny thing is that most people would not know she questions herself or doubts herself because she's so outgoing. She's an amazing big sister, so generous and loving with Callie. She's very friendly and loves to make people laugh. She likes to be the center of attention. She loves fashion and isn't afraid to take risks, so she gives off a confident air when she's bold with her choices. She's a great athlete and plays volleyball, soccer, basketball, gymnastics and swims. She even recently attended her first dance camp. She never has trouble interacting with new kids and quickly plays with others in new situations.

Maybe I'm overreacting. Mike says I baby her and am too lenient with her. I just worry about the sensitive side of her and the side that doubts herself. I hate to see that because she is such a smart, funny, sweet girl. I will continue to love her and encourage her and help her develop her strengths and hope that before long she sees in herself the amazing girl we've seen all along.

Happy birthday to my little love, Mia Marie.