3 a.m.

Well, it's 6 am and I've been up for 3 hours already. I woke up to do one of my many nighttime potty runs, and never went back to sleep. I keep obsessing about things. I've got a busy week at work, my car is in the shop, Christmas is quickly approaching, the baby will be here before I know it, and Showerpalooza is only a week and a half away. There is so much to get done, and I'm stressing about whether I have the time, energy and funds to get everything done in the time frame available.

The car situation is pissing me off. In my entire life, I've only had a car payment for 18 months. I realize that's not normal and that most people make payments on their cars. But when I was in the AF, I used my hazardous duty funds to pay off my car in 18 months. Then when I was in the accident that totaled it, I used those funds to buy the car I have now. I have had this car for 6 years and I would be happy to keep driving it for another 6, except now I'm driving 60 miles a day to and from work, and I have a baby on the way. I don't mind taking it to the shop every few months, because the repair bills are still less than a car payment. But what if it's snowing and I'm eight months pregnant and it breaks down? That doesn't sound like fun. Or what if I have a newborn and something happens? No, I think the time may be approaching when I'll have to bite that bullet.

On a very cool note, the Bean has been moving differently the past few hours. It's like he bundles himself up to one side and I feel all kinds of pressure. That part of my belly gets really tight and heavy, which I guess makes sense because he's just about 2 pounds now. But it's the weirdest feeling, how tight it gets. I can't imagine how this will feel when he's pounds!!