Ups and Downs

So I started back on Clomid this month. You may recall our last shot at Clomid in April resulted in a pregnancy, but I also quickly miscarried. We’ve “tried” without Clomid over the summer, but last month decided to give the meds another shot. So, I took the same dose as last time – 50 mg – and we went about the business of trying to conceive.

I went for my 21 day progesterone check last week, and on Tuesday they called to tell me the numbers didn’t look so great. They were only a 10.4. They called me in a prescription for 100 mg for next month. I was pretty upset, but for some reason I felt strongly compelled to take a pregnancy test when I got home. I did, and there was a very faint positive line. Mike and I tried not to get too excited, but I still started my progesterone supplement that night, just in case. I took another test the next morning and got the same faint pink line. On Wednesday afternoon I decided I couldn’t stand the faint pink line thing, so I bought a digital test, which I took in my bathroom at work. It clearly read “Pregnant”. I have to admit, I allowed myself a little happiness then!

I called the doctor and told them. They said I should come in for hcg labs, so they could determine if they are doubling every 48 hours as they should. Last time that’s when I got the bad news. I am participating in the Ride to Conquer Cancer with Mom this weekend, and didn’t want that hanging over me if it was bad news. So I didn’t go in on Wednesday, but decided to do the blood work today (Friday) and Monday instead.

Last night I wanted to take a picture of the “Pregnant” reading so I’d have it for the blog, so I took another test. It said, “Not Pregnant”. I was pretty upset, as you can imagine. I tested right after I got home from work, and I’d used the restroom right before I left work, so I tried to reason that maybe the hcg wasn’t concentrated enough or something. But I was still very sad. This morning I woke up and took another test, deciding that if it said “Not Pregnant” again, I was not going to the doctor’s office. I didn’t need a stranger to tell me once again that I’m losing a pregnancy. But the one this morning said “Pregnant”. So I headed to the doctor, they drew blood, and now we just wait and see.

I’m so very nervous. Every slight pain in my stomach freaks me out. I wonder if everything is a cramp. Both miscarriages happened before I was 6 weeks, and I’m only 4 ½ now, so I do not feel comfortable at all. Now I just want to know the hcg levels and especially see the heartbeat on the ultrasound. But I have a couple more weeks for that. Please keep us in your prayers, that we’ll have a healthy, happy little baby from all this. Wouldn’t it be something for Missy and I to have babies close in age again?!