Mistaken Identity

Yesterday Mike's parents stopped by to see Mia. While they were here, Carol asked if Mike had told me about what happened at daycare on Friday. He hadn't, so Carol said that when she picked Mia up on Friday, she wasn't in her new room. One of the teachers at the front was holding her and Mia was very upset. The teacher told her that something had happened. Mia was in her new room for all but the first hour on Friday. They said things had gone really well until one of the moms came to pick up her child. Apparently she has long blond hair and resembles me. When Mia saw her, they said she lit up and ran over to her and started loving on her, thinking she was me. The mom was hugging on her own child, but Mia kept holding onto her legs, trying to get her attention. They said the mom was very sweet to her, even picking her up and saying hi to her, but she was there to pick up her own baby. Eventually she had to gather up her child and take her home. Mia, thinking she was me, did not understand why I was leaving her and taking some other baby. She kept holding onto the lady, and started to cry. When that mom left, Mia became inconsolable. Her new teachers loved on her but couldn't get her to stop crying. Since they are still new to her, they took Mia back to her old room, with teachers that are familiar and comforting to her. She still would not stop sobbing. She thought her mommy had left without her. Luckily Carol arrived not too long after that, but it breaks my heart to think she believed I'd left without her, and I started crying as Carol told me that. 

I am so glad I'm not the one to drop Mia off in the mornings because I think that would be the end of me. As a child, I cried and cried when Mom left me to go to work in the morning. I vividly remember several times when I panicked as she left, wondering if she would come back to get me. I always thought something bad would happen to her before I saw her again, and she wouldn't be able to make it back. I had anxiety about that even into kindergarten and first grade, so I have clear memories of many times when Mom finally had to leave me crying so she could get to work. As a mother myself now, I realize how awful that must have been for her, leaving such a terrified child. As a child who experienced it, I'm not sure I'll be able to leave Mia if she has the same level of anxiety I had myself.