32 Weeks Update

• We went to Mom's last Sunday to celebrate Christmas with her family. Soon after we arrived, Mom received a call that her brother, my uncle Jimmy, had suffered an aneurysm and was brain dead. After two days of trying to determine which of his organs could be donated, he officially died on Christmas day. Upon hearing the news that her son could die, Grandma Sarah commented that St. Thomas More was having a chicken dinner that night. Another indication that she is no longer herself and is suffering the effects of Alzheimer's. It may be a blessing though. I can't imagine how painful it would be to have your child die.


• Christmas otherwise was wonderful. We were spoiled by our families and enjoyed the time we were able to spend with everyone this last year before children. I received hundreds of dollars worth of spa gift certificates. I nearly cried when I got them. My body is so sore and I am feeling so anxious that a massage is exactly what I need right now. In fact, I went to the spa the day after Christmas and let them pamper me. It was awesome!


• Not feeling very attractive these days. Mike and I have taken to calling my breasts "chimp titties" because they just seem to hang on my belly, like those of a monkey. Fabulous!


• Very emotional these days also. I cry because I don't like how I look. I cry because my back hurts. I cry because I can't wait to look into my baby's eyes and hold him/her for the first time. I cry thinking about how much I love Mike and how blessed I am to be carrying his child. I cry when the baby moves because I remember those early days when I thought we'd lost this child. I cry because one day will come - sooner than I'd like - when my baby will be too big for me to hold. I cry because I remember the love and comfort that I felt as a little girl when mom and dad held me, and I miss it very much.


• I got very emotional when it came time for Missy to leave. It may be the last time I see her before we're mommies. It's really bothering me that I will not be able to be with her when little Biscuit arrives and I hate that she will not be here to greet Bean. I've loved that we're pregnant together and that we can share our emotions and stories with one another, but I will really miss being able to physically share our joy at the moments of birth. I know we'll get together very soon afterward, but I wish she were still here, living across the street from me. Okay, I'm crying again, so I better move on!


• I packed my hospital bag yesterday, did baby laundry and purchased the crib mattress. We've selected our pediatrician, created a call list for when the baby's born, and have been practicing diaper changing with Daddy.


• I've had a few kicks in the ribs this past week. The baby has also shifted so that I feel him equally on the right and left sides. It's very odd. He's more in the middle of my belly, causing unusual consequences. It's much more difficult to shave properly, I have to pee all the time, and it's causing swelling in a very uncomfortable location.


• I will turn 35 this week. An "advanced age" mother is what they call me. If I were to deliver today, I'd simply be a mother.


• I've gained a total of 21 pounds so far. These past two weeks my diet has consisted of sugar and grease, so I anticipate a surge in fat just in time for my OB appointment next week.